I’m feeling like a failure.

Half-marathon training. Last week, it did not go well. As in, it pretty much didn’t happen.

Last week, I was supposed to do 3 x 5km runs, and a 6km ‘long’ run.

Last week, I walk/ran 5.65km and 5.02km, and also 1.11km. I went to pump twice, WiiFit(ed?) learned to ride my bike and swam 1.5km. I mean, it’s not like I did nothing.

But I did not do my runs for ½ marathon training. I also haven’t run 5km in a row without walking. And I’m starting to panic.

I mean, I know that’s silly. I know I can walk/run until I can run the whole period, and if I need to, I can even walk/run the ½ marathon.

But I really want to run. I honestly think the reason I’m not running is because I’m worried I won’t be able to do it, and that means failure. Somehow, my brain doesn’t equate ‘not attempting it’ as failure. My brain is an idiot.

Last week, I only ran 11.78km. I should have run 20km.

This week, I have a plan.

Monday: 5km + biking at gym for a total of an hour
Tuesday: Pump + 5km
Wednesday: Ride my bike in the wild (rest day)
Thursday: 5km run + pump
Friday: 5km run + biking at gym for a total of an hour
Saturday: Ride my bike in the wild (rest day)
Sunday: 6.5km run, pump if I feel like it/get up early enough, ride my bike in the wild, 2km swim + UWH game.

This is 5 runs where my schedule calls for 4, but I need to make up a bit from last week, and I think it will help boost my confidence a bit.

In 5 weeks, I have a 10k event. Then only 10 weeks after that, the ½ marathon. I can’t piss around and slack off between now and then; no matter how busy and stressed I am at work or how scared I am of failing.

The only thing worse than failure is not trying at all.


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One thought on “I’m feeling like a failure.

  1. healthybalanceblog March 13, 2013 at 1:41 pm Reply

    If it makes you feel any better, I trained for a 10km in4 weeks, from nothing to a 52min 10km race (not awesome, but I ran the whole way). One day I just decided I had to do it as the race was coming up and boom, I was locked into training. no. Matter. What.

    You can do it 🙂

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